Category Archives: Meta’s Mumblings

Meta’s Sleep Workings

While writing out my 60s jokes for this blog, because it had been so many years since telling them last, I just couldn’t remember the second stanza of the elephant trilogy.  I asked others and then scanned their lists of elephant jokes on the internet to no avail.

Finally I thought of my memory aids.  The first ones that I had learned in a memory course that I took during the 70s.  As I cozied into my bed for the night I thought about what I wanted to remember then let myself forget it and relax into sleep.

Sure enough, still in bed the following morning it came to me without bidding.  If you are puzzling over a project or choice think over the problem – forget it- sleep – the answer will occur to you shortly after waking.

If you have things on your mind that you want to accomplish the next day that are keeping you awake try writing them down.  Afterwards forget about them as you cuddle back onto your pillow.  Rest soon follows.

Another technique to bring rest – picture yourself lying in the sand on a warm beach with sea breezes keeping you totally comfortable – feel your body grow heavy – sinking into the nice warm sand.  You will soon fall asleep.

My grand mother taught me that if I concentrated on the time I wanted to wake – then glanced at the clock – I could wake at the time I wanted with out the use of the alarm.

These sleep workings have rarely failed me – nor Iba after I taught him.

Absurd Jokes from the 60s by Meta

What’s big and purple and rides the waves?    Moby Grape

Why do elephants have pink eyes?   So they can hide in cherry trees

Have you ever seen an elephant hiding in as cherry tree?

works – doesn’t it

Why do the natives go into their huts between four and five in the afternoon?

That’s when the elephants jump out of the cherry trees

What’s red and green and goes round and round?

a frog caught in a blender

The Dirty Joke by Meta

As a child it was not uncommon for an older youth to ask if I wanted to hear a dirty joke – After my affirmative answer the response would come – “A pig fell into a mud puddle” followed by a hard laugh on their part while I thought it was stupid and that it wasn’t really even a joke.

I was just 14 years old and in my bed when my grandfather came to visit with my parents over hard drinks.  With my bedroom door open and at the top of the stairs I could clearly hear my light hearted grandfather tell the first real dirty joke I had ever heard.

It went something like this…

A young couple were out parking in their car and began fooling around.  As they became heated up a police man pulled up beside them and they were arrested.

They were put into adjoining jail cells for safe keeping and left alone while their parents were sent for.  Soon the couple were billing and cooing through the thin wall between them and they heated up again.Then the boy took out his pocket knife and carved a hole in the wall with instructions to her that he was going to stick “IT” through so she could hop on and they could have their fun.

That worked.

He told her that any time she wanted more she was to rap on the wall three times.

Meanwhile her father had arrived, picked up his daughter and the maid was sent in to clean the cell.  As she brought in her cleaning supplies – her mop fell and struck the wall three times.  As he stuck “IT” through the hole in the wall.  The maid yelled, “Eek!,  A bald headed mouse.”

That became my vision of a man’s thingy(?) until I had experiences of my own.

Meta Q.

Meta Mumbles on and on

Here are three jokes That I was told by my birth father many years ago….

Q:  If a church has no doors or windows –  How do the people get in and out?

A:  The church was holey

 

Q:  What did the Preacher say when he saw the Church burning?

A:  “Holey Smoke”

 

Q:  Little fly on the wall

Ain’t you got no clothes at all?

Ain’t you got no shimmy shirt?

Ain’t you got no pretty skirt?

Ain’t you cold?”