Monthly Archives: December 2012

Doomsayers, The end of the world and the National Security State

People sure are acting wacked out lately.

Is it the end times?

I shake my magic eight ball…signs say maybe.  Tsk, tsk, not good.

So how will it all come to an end?

Planet killer asteroid (Don’t you love that, like just plain asteroid isn’t enough, its needs to be extra special),  Iran finally tests nuclear missile and accidentally blows self up sparking thermonuclear war?  Okay, that’s too much, lets just say nuclear war.  How about a global oven or a world wide ice box…how do you dress for something like that?  Super plague or alien invasion?  Economic and/or Enviormental collapse, possibly a diluation of crop diversity due to over use of GM seed?  Posioned flu shots?  Too much flourine in the water?  Reactor melt down…hell governmental meltdown, either would be severe.  Killer nano bots, supersoldiers, mutants, zombies, RFID chips, really the list goes on and on.  We could probably turn it into a parlor game.  People have been worrying over and predicting the end of the world since they figured out they could make such prophecies.

There is a lot of fear out there but then I think there always is, I remember back in college when the big deal was then polar shift and there was some talk then about global warming.  I went to college in the early 80s.  I think uncertainty and insecurity are greater causes of fear than most anything else except the fear of loss.  Loss of someone or something that is more than important to you but is an intergral part of your life.  As I look back over my short meager existance I begin to realize that the world I live in today looks almost nothing like the world in which I dwelt before 1988.  Lost a lot of family over the ten years before culminating with the death of my mother.  The family that remained and the relationships that were once so rich quickly decayed.  My brothers and father no longer even seemed to be the same people.

Houses and apartments I rented are gone, stores I frequented have vanished, friends whom claimed undying love and loyalty disappeared far back along the horizon.  It is in its own way the very nature of our fragile ever changing world.  We people, I think, like to think of the world as a stable static place and work hard to maintain that frame of reference in our minds.  So when something horrible happens it is a shock, regardless of how often it has happened in the past, we continued the struggle to gleen those horrific images and feelings from our minds and go on as though those risks don’t exist.  This is where we find ourselves trapped.  Every night when we go to bed, a world dies and when we awake in the morning we come to, in a new world.  True the differences may be slight or subtle but over time the changes can be profound until finally we, those of us who survive, say, where did all that time go?  I was twenty just yesterday, when did all this happen?  60, I can’t believe I’m 60, I never thought I’d live this long.

Being human means being vulnerable.

I would love to believe that there is some type of a fix that would remove those moments that bring so many terrible emotional pain but there isn’t.  I know this myself, several times over.  The world is uncertain, life is short, bad frightening things happen, we have little power to influence the reality in which we live…all of this is true.  So what to do?

Make your home sacred space and bring not the darkness from the outside in when you pass through the door.

Find more joy and ways to express it, even if it is something a simple as a party or as complicated as pursuing the arts.

Don’t be afraid to be different.

Don’t worry about what other people are thinking.

Be prepared to trust with the understanding that there in lies risk.

Finally, remember, you never know when the words you speak will be the last words.  Either your last words or the last words any given person might hear.  If you truly care about a person then make as many words as you can good words.  hesitate before you react emotionally.  Tell them you love them and understand that it isn’t for them that you express this, but for yourself.


Back at the end of November a family friend stopped by as he does almost every year sometime between thanksgiving and New Years,  He is Heow, an Alpha Geek .  He gave me a few tips on time management, and dealing with email and such.  I must be honest, my natural instinct, my immediate response to an advice, either good or bad is to resist.  I have to think on it a while and work it over in my head before I take it, if I take any of it.  Being that he lives and works in the E world, for the most part, I was more inclined to consider his ideas more intently than I would most anyone else.So I am applying them, with only half as much sucess as I hoped, but still applying the ideas with this little blurb

So last week on the days of Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday I managed to compile some 17,000 words on the manuscript I told you all about earlier.  It could be that most of the words are crap or even potentially gibberish but from them I hope to coax a story worth reading.  Its like I or you, if it applies, are running to get some place under extreme circumstances….to save your life or some elses maybe, and you begin to get tunnel vision, you become obsessed with the goal so much so that you can’t rest until it is done.  Considering and being aware of this from past experience I decided to take Friday, sleep in and then burn my brains out on you tube.  That way when  I approached the work again on Saturday or Sunday, it would be fresh.

I had earlier purchased command and conquer ultimate something or other and it had arrived from Best But on Saturday.  It was a download type game so I loaded up Origin software and downloaded the game.  The result was that my computer developed a bad case of the giggles.  It didn’t want to come out of hibernate.  It repeatedly crashed as I powered it up from shut down.  I’ve spent the better part of Sunday and a good bit of today just trying to get the poor thing back al hooked back together?  I believe I finally have.  I’ll keep it short…update and repeat update anti-virus definitions, turn on systems that had some how been turned off, uninstall this and that, restored the system twice.  Update the BIOs, I didn’t even know what that damn thing was  and finally it seems to have gotten  back together and I did it without having to deal with anyone over the telephone.

Simply put, I dealt with it, as imperfect as the process was, with the only real talent I have left, blind dumb determination.  I’ll find out tomorrow whether or not I screwed it up worse but for the moment, as I write this, I feel an odd sense of accomplishment because as I have said in the past, I don’t know what I am doing most of the time.

I want to make it clear that in no way am I blaming EA (Electronic arts) or the Origin website since I have no idea what actually caused the malfunction and from my paging through the e-manual it appears to be a problem fairly common with ASUS notebooks.

Finally, if you want to check out my friend’s website then go to


Choices we make,

Thousands by Millions,

Day by Day,

Until fate makes it final play,

And with the dice we find,

Great decisions already made,

Far back long, along the way.


I kind of disappeared there for about a month or so, sometimes things just get a little out of hand.

I don’t have any idea what I am doing most of the time and I will be the first one to admit that little fact.  Generally, I just act like I know what I am doing, you know, faking my way along until either I finally figure out what ever it is that I am supposed to know or getting fired, or something along those lines.  This has worked fairly well for me over the years especially since I washed out of college my senior year.  Really it was much more like crashing and burning out of college in a spectacular explosion of destroyed dreams and lost hope.  It would later turn out that there was a reason for this occurence, in this case I was disturbed.  They call it lots of things like schizophrenic, paranoid schizophrenic, schizoaffective, manic,  Psychotic and that was an adjustment, to put it mildly.  As a child I loved to read and always thought if I could find the time that I would like to take a stab at it, forgive the unfortunate word choice.  But writing was easier said than done and english was never a strong talent of mine, as I had time and hated television it was one of the things I filled my evenings with.  Over all I’d have to say that it was one of the least expensive hobbies, there for affordable on the bit I get from social security.

So that’s what I’ve been trying to learn how to do over the last twenty or so odd years.  I’m beginning to think I might have gotten a handle on it.  First with pen and paper, then typewriter and finally just over a year ago, maybe more like a year and a half, finally a computer.  This brings me back to the earlier point that I really don’t know what the hell I’m doing most of the time.  So I just try to fake my way through it and I have to say its been slow.  Still with the advent of this wide electronic world and the ease for a lone author to self publish I have decided to challenge myself by attempting to complete not one but two books by the next vernal equinox.  Iba’s diary will be a place that I can occasionally let you know how its going.

After all if you know too then I have all the more impetus to see this thing through.